


Tick Me Off

by leeminthyung



Category: NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), SM Rookies
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, I name my girl ocs after smrookies girls yes, Pining, but also fluff, but you can just think of them as just oc i guess, soccer player mark yes, theres dreamies and 127
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeminthyung/pseuds/leeminthyung
Summary: Mark falls in love with the wrong person. Herin is not his and will probably never be his.





	Tick Me Off

**Author's Note:**

> A tribute for Mark's 18th birthday but I kind of post this late here. Also posted on Asianfanfics under the user 'Snowblowerstal'. Enjoy reading!

_**-01** _

It was Tuesday. Last period. Those two things being combined could only mean one thing. Boring and being sleepy. Well, at least it is for Herin.

The girl quickly enters the classroom, the history book - that has like 500 pages, really, it's heavier than a thesaurus - and a binder on her arms, hugged tightly to her chest as she made her way to her usual seat.

Unless today it would be different because her seat mate, Lami is not present - both in Biology and History, ugh - so she would probably spend the three periods alone.

"Good luck on surviving, babe." Her best friend, Hina said as the two did a bump fist and then they made their way to each seat.

Her seat is a window seat, on the 3rd row because even though her eyesight is blurry like shit when she sits there, Herin thinks it's not a problem at all because she would usually doze off in History.

a, because the teacher is an old man in his 60s who tells them history as if he was reading a bedtime story and b, because she always stays up late on Monday's night because of some reasons so she didn't get enough sleep.

The teacher enters and everyone just shut up in an instant because the teacher is pissed off really easily if he was disturbed. Herin tried hard to keep her eyes opens through out the first period but it always finds a way to close itself. Today, fortunately, she's not that sleepy.

So Herin tries her best to take notes from whatever the old man said.

20 minutes into the class and the door is slammed open and then, whispers are heard clearly between each other. A brown haired boy makes an appearance, his white shirt all a mess and sweats dripping down from his hair.

If Herin says she didn't know him, it's not really a lie. She recognizes him almost instantly - and his badge is somewhat special, duh - but to say she knows him personally, nah.

It's Mark Lee. Probably one of the hottest guys in the school. Scratch that, it's not probably. Indeed, he is one of the hottest guys in the school.

"Lee! What a surprise that you even made an appearance in my class." The teacher, Mr. Yoon made another sarcastic remark and Herin notices that everyone - even those who are sleeping are all awake - are paying him attention.

"I'm helping out a friend, Sir. Lee Jeno, from class 2 injured his knee badly so I accompany him to-" "Okay, that's enough. Take a sit and pay attention to my class. Your points on the next exam will be reduced by 5." Mr. Yoon cut him off and Herin could see how Mark rolled her eyes.

"Yes, sir." He said and that's when the old man turns back to the whiteboard, writing something on it that Herin didn't really get and after a good 30 seconds, Herin finally notices that Mark was standing right beside her.

"Is this person absent?" Mark asked her in a low voice, pointing at the seat beside her and Herin nods her head, "Yeah. Skipping class."

Mark smiles a bit at her answer before he decides to take a seat before Mr. Yoon could lecture him further.

For a good 10 minutes, Herin was busy writing everything that's written on the board - because she can't not pass this class and to do so, it needs hard work and dedication so yeah - when Mark taps her shoulder lightly.

"Can I borrow a pen?" He asked her and flashed a gummy smile. Oh wow, the rumors are true. Mark Lee is hot! Herin thinks he's probably the second hottest thing on earth beside the sun - the first one is reserved for somebody else already - and Herin was stunned.

"Yeah, sure," Herin said with a shrug before she searches for another pen before giving it to him. Mark mouthed a 'thanks' before he then opens his notebook and starts to do his own thing.

After one period - around 45 minutes - passed by, Herin finally decided to sleep instead of taking notes down because she's too sleepy and it's not like she understands anything either.

She was wide awake when someone - a really certain person - nudge her shoulder with a rather hard thing and ouch, that hurts and Herin turns to her right to find Mark smiling really widely.

"Hey, sorry to rudely wake you like that but uh... I try to tap your shoulder but you didn't wake up so..." A blush crept on her cheek. Fuck, Herin was so embarrassed. She has always been a heavy sleeper especially if she actually didn't get enough rest - god, she can sleep for 12 hours straight every day.

"Oh, I- no, that's okay." She said quickly, trying her best to keep her cool but when Mark lets out a soft chuckle, she knew she failed.

"Anyway, thanks for the pen." Mark said, putting the pen on top of her open binder before he went back to whatever business he is in.

And for the rest of the class, Herin was too distracted by admiring him. Not like it's her fault that he's handsome though.

When the bell rings, everyone gets up almost instantly with their backpack all ready and some of the guys even went out of the class before the teacher does - Mr. Yoon was on the nag again but no one cares so one by one, everyone left, anyway.

Herin was about to leave when Mark shoots up a smile that somehow makes her heart fluttered - but really, it's probably because of his looks, any kind of guy who is good looking will make her heart flutters, really - and then he waves at her.

Oh god, is he going to act like we're best buddies now? Herin thought. In the end, she could only wave back, even though when she did the boy was already too occupied by his best friend.

"My fucking god, Herin!" A loud voice, one that is particularly high pitched and Herin recognizes it in a split of second, that's probably Hina.

The expected girl yanked her back when they're already in front of the class. "Oh my god! You get to sit with Mark!" She was obviously, more than excited than Herin was - Herin thinks it's heart fluttering, not exciting.

"Uh-huh, should I thank Lami for being absent?" Herin asked the girl jokingly and the Japanese girl hits her arm in a playful manner.

"Why are you so lucky?"

"I don't know. Why are you not?"

"Ugh, not everyone has that kind of luck." Hina said in annoyance and Herin only laughed.

"You know what, if I were you I would probably try to talk to him all the fucking time. That might be my only chance because you know I would never go up just to talk to him." Hina said as she drags the other girl through the hallway and out of the school building.

"And I was so annoyed about the fact that you actually just sleep through it. You have the time of your life and you sleep?" Hina asked her but it was as if she was mad - or maybe she was - with the way she screamed on Herin's ears.

"He didn't even talk to me, Hina! I would rather sleep you know. Also, if you forgot I don't have time to look at other boys." Herin said, throwing some hints and hoping that Hina would actually get it.

She did, in the end and Hina only giggled. "Ow, right. I'm sorry." She said, apologizing with a rather soulless tone but Herin didn't really care.

"But I do saw you admiring him though?"

Herin ignored the question. She didn't need any other person to know about it and to embarrass herself more. God.

_**-02** _

The next Tuesday was not any better than the last one because oh my god, Herin seriously felt like skipping class - and she is really close to doing it until she gets pulled back by Hina.

It's just really exhausting. Especially the last period which is Biology and damn the teacher just needs to make them do a 1000 words essay on some things Herin is confused about. Really, she knows she could do well but... at this state of hers, it's just impossible.

Herin is sure that her brain is about to explode after one period of history - that if she's lucky to not let it explode after 10 minutes of lectures. Also, history is boring as fuck and she's also sleepy as fuck. It adds up. Unfortunately the equal is to her sleeping in the class.

The girl is just going to blame it on Johnny, her brother who told her that he needs help on his assignment and keep her up until at least 2 A.M. and even without that, all her energy has been drained previously by her social tutor session with Johnny's friend, Doyoung.

So the first thing she did when she finally sat down in the classroom is to close her eyes and leaned her head on the wall for support. Her seatmate, Lami is once again nowhere to be seen and by now, Herin is more than sure she's going to go absent once again. Damn, that junior.

Yet when someone pulled out the chair beside her - it makes a squeaking sound on the floor - Herin's eyes flutter open quickly. She kind of expects it to be Lami - which still makes no sense to her - but instead, it was a boy with peanut shade of brown hair, wide eyes, a rather sharp nose and pink lips that are curled up into a signature smile - that's Mark Lee.

Alarmed, Herin's eyes widened as she leaned in more to the wall, shocked to see the presence of this boy.

"Can I sit here?" He asked, his smile is still there. Herin raised her eyebrow, "Uh... my friend is sitting her?" She lied - okay, so she lied but it's not that Herin didn't want him to sit her, I mean, which girl doesn't want to sit beside a good looking boy? But it's more about what popped into her mind first and unfortunately, it's being defensive.

"I don't think she'd show up, actually." Mark said after a laugh and then he offered him a... smirk? God, Herin hates how she think of how hot he is.

"But what if she-" "I'm sure she can give up this seat for me."

Oh, how Herin hates how confident he sounds.

"There are many seats-" "But I wanna sit with you." Mark cut her off with his nicely accented English and if she said it doesn't sound huskily pleasant, then she's lying.

Herin sighed in defeat, there's no way she would win against him so in the end, she offered him a big smile before she replies while pointing at the chair, "Then it's all yours, Mark."

Mark could only smile before he plopped down on now 'his' seat and at the same time, their history teacher went inside the room, slamming his thick book against the desk - making a really loud 'thud' probably from how heavy it was - and that shut up almost all the students in their class.

Herin, as always, tried her best to keep her eyes open, but it was full of struggles. While on the other hand, Mark only watches her and can't help but feel amused at how she acted though he only keeps on staring. Herin though didn't notice the amused glance he throws - it was too much of a struggle to even keep her eyes open at this rate.

However, she failed to do so. In the end, the pen that she has been holding dropped on her open binder as it rolled over a bit on the desk and her eyes close instantly, followed by her head hanging low, falling to the side of the wall.

Mark lets out a chuckle at the sight, he seriously thinks that she's cute by now. He peeks on her binder - and found out that the girl actually has been taking down notes, well, before she fell asleep that is.

Mark kind of want to help her but thinking about it, he's too lazy. And he's also tired, man.

Mark Lee doesn't like taking notes down and just because he kind of feel bad for her - for falling asleep - doesn't mean what he will do it for her. He's kind but not to that extent, and also, he was also planning to sleep.

So what Mark Lee does is taking out his phone, go to the recorder and hit the start button and he dozes off himself - at least until 10 minutes before history ends. And that, my friend, is why technology is a blessing.

Mark Lee was rudely awakened when a paper ball hits the top of his head perfectly - and Mark, with his eyes shooting glares and lips shaped into a frown, turns his head to the front right and just like expected it's his best friend, Donghyuck.

Donghyuck Lee. The person that people called as Mark's soulmates but Mark would rather not call him that.

"What?" He hisses lowly at the boy and Donghyuck just gave him a smirk. Bitch, Mark thought. He turns to his left and sure enough, Herin was still fast asleep.

Oh my god, why is she so cute? Mark thought.

To admire her like this maybe makes him kinda creepy but seriously, when Mark thought his heart is about to die, stone cold, she came.

This is at least what Mark notices after how he feels like his heart is fluttering after the history last week. And Mark is not dense enough to be oblivious to this kind of feelings. He knew well it's from her.

And it was as if God says 'let there be light' to his cold heart, and then here he is with her. Okay, that was kind of exaggerated maybe, but Mark is really serious in his mind right now.

Mark looks at his phone, before he looks up and when he found Mr. Yoon already finished his lecture, he stopped the recording before he stuffed his phone back into the pocket of his pants.

Mark took out a post it from his bag - how he has it for such a lazy student he is, don't ask why and how. He writes on it and then slipped it in between the papers on her binder.

After that, Mark didn't spare a glance to her anymore. When the bell rings, he stood up almost hurriedly and with catching a final glimpse of Herin - who is still sleeping - Mark made his way to Donghyuck and went out of the class.

_**-03** _

"So... I heard from a certain someone that you sit with Mark Lee on history. How is it?" One of her other best friends, Koeun asked as she wriggles her eyebrow and gave Herin a smug look. Koeun's eyes are shining brightly, as if she was really curious but knowing how the girl has a crush on the said boy, it's not surprising.

"Not much. Good, but he's so stubborn, I guess." Herin answered with a shrug.

Hina only rolled her eyes before she looks at Koeun. "Man, she sat with Mark Lee twice but she decides to sleep for both times!" Hina commented in annoyance.

"Not my fault. Johnny made me stay awake until 2 and Hina, that Biology class is so, so, distressing me. I'm tired, so I sleep." Herin explained and Koeun laughs.

"Oh my, you're so gonna fail history this term. Stop sleeping, Herin." Koeun said, still laughing.

Herin could only shrug, "Nah, I think I can manage a B-, really."

The girl then opens her binder slightly, trying to check her unfinished notes and her eyes catch the red piece of paper instead. Herin glanced at her two best friends and found them distracted so she took a look on the paper carefully.

'I record the class for you, try to contact me if you want, cutie -u know who'

There's only one person that comes to her mind that she knows will write something like this. God damn, it's Mark Lee, she's convinced. Herin tried her best to stop the growing smile that's playing on the corner of her lips. God, just kill her right now.

"... And then I was trying to- wait, Herin, are you listening to me or are you in your own world?" Hina asked, waving her hand in front of the mentioned girl's face.

"Uh, not really listening." Herin answered, smiling sheepishly at her friends as she closes her binder.

"I knew it. What were you thinking?" Hina asked again and Herin pursed her lips together. Telling the two about the fact that Mark told her to contact him for notes doesn't seem to be that good.

They would probably freak out.

"Just remember I'm supposed to take notes because my tutor has been nagging me again." Herin answered with a rather true lie. That's definitely not what she's thinking but her tutor Doyoung has been nagging her a lot about sleeping at class, indeed.

It's not really her fault that she felt tired though.

"Doyoung?" Koeun asked and Herin nods. Right, Koeun is Doyoung's neighbor. She probably knows the guy well.

"I thought you quit his tutor last time?" Koeun asked, but she didn't sound suspicious at all - just, pure curiosity.

"Doyoung told me that he's doing it for free now, so yeah, we only have one session but like, I'm not gonna pass this. He's smart." Herin answered, and yeah, it's true.

After she told the rabbit-like man that she would quit, he refused to and even told her that it's okay if he's doing it for free. Even though Herin doesn't want to say 'yes', Johnny told her that it's a rare chance that she'd probably regret if she passed it.

Koeun gave her a firm nod. "You really need him though."

"I'd rather not though. He's kind of a pain in the ass."

The trio laughed, as they made their way, exiting the school building.

_**-04** _

It didn't take another Tuesday for both Hein and Mark to talk again. It was Friday when Herin tried her best to get Mark's number and succeed after actually asking a girl in her class - because she can't try asking her friend, god damn it, they would never let her go that way.

So, on Friday night, when Herin just closed her Skype on her laptop, the girl grabbed her phone and she quickly scrolls through her contacts. Should she really message him?

It's not like she really needs the recording. She could easily try to contact Yi Yang, a transfer student from China who's a literal teacher's pet - but it's not like Herin has anything against the girl, Yi Yang is really nice - for those notes she wants.

Why should it be Mark?

Okay, but her mind, in the end, betrayed all her thoughts. Herin found herself texting the boy in another minute.

Herin  
sent 8:12 PM  
hey  
is this mark  
or is it not

Mark  
sent 8:12 PM  
yup  
who's this

Mark  
sent 8:13 PM  
let me guess  
history seatmate?

Herin  
sent 8:15 PM  
wow how did u know  
but yeah

Mark  
sent 8:16 PM  
is it the recording  
or something else

Herin  
sent 8:16 PM  
recording  
and thank you  
in advance, u know

Mark  
sent 8:18 PM  
so I've been thinking bout it but what about we meet up?  
and uh, we can listen to it together?  
I kinda not want to fail this class  
no prob if I do tho, if I'm with you

Herin  
sent 8:20 PM  
how  
should  
I  
react  
to  
that

Mark  
sent 8:21 PM  
OH MY GOD DID I SCARE YOU  
im sorry  
my weird side came up

Herin  
sent 8:25 PM  
yeah i freaked out  
but  
ok?

Herin  
sent 8:27 PM  
l mean, thats good

Mark  
sent 8:30 PM  
sorry donghyuck called  
BUT YAEAH THATS GOOD  
* yeah

Mark  
sent 8:31 PM  
wait do I sound too excited or

Herin  
sent 8:31 PM  
yeah...

Herin  
sent 8:32 PM  
u free tomorrow?  
let's do it if you are

Mark  
sent 8:35 PM  
actually my friends just made plans like minutes ago  
but you know I can always cancel it

Herin  
sent 8:36 PM  
wait  
no its okay if you can't

Mark  
sent 8:36 PM  
no really its okay  
not like i can't hang out with them other time  
I mean with you is 1/100

Mark  
sent 8:37 PM  
lifetime chance  
can't pass this

Herin  
sent 8:37 PM  
should I be flattered

Mark  
sent 8:38 PM  
coming from someone like me so yea you should  
;)

Herin  
sent 8:38 PM  
ugh ok  
see you tmr

Mark  
sent 8:39 PM  
ok  
good nite  
love ya

Herin  
sent 8:39 PM  
um...

 

Mark  
sent 8:40 PM  
OMG THATS FOR DONGHYUCK  
am sorry  
forget it  
I  
just sorry

Herin  
sent 8:41 PM  
ok lol I g2g  
bye mark

Herin closed her phone, throwing it to her bed before she closed her eyes. That was a long ass conversation with him.

And there are only two words for Mark.

'stop it'.

Because somehow, Herin could feel her ears reddened and her face heating up. Oh my god, she thought as a weird feeling appeared on her stomach.

And for the rest of the night, Herin tried her best to keep Mark out of her mind. Failed, though.

**_-05_ **

Saturday morning that week passed by smoothly. Herin woke up around 8 in the morning which is considered pretty early as she usually only woke up around 11 most of the time when it's weekends.

But it's probably only because Johnny knocked on her door, telling her that he made her breakfast and their mom already went out to work and that he needs to go out with Doyoung and his other friend, Taeil.

So that's why Herin spends around 2 or 3 hours watching the TV alone in the lounge room as she also blasted out some new releases of her favorite music through her phone. And then it was already around 11 when Herin remembers she had a... date - no, just a meeting, maybe - with Mark.

Herin swore she sprinted to her bedroom faster than Usain Bolt that time. It took her around 20 minutes to finally get her makeup done and another stressing 20 minutes to pick on some nice clothes.

At first, she was about to wear a skirt, only to realize that it's still winter and she'd probably die in the cold if she wears it so in the end, Herin decided to go with a nice pink t-shirt, a black coat, and black pants.

And no, it's not like she tried to flatters Mark or anything, right? She just wants to at least look presentable when she meets him. She didn't want to feel under dressed, especially when she knows she's meeting one of the hottest guys at school - that she doesn't have hots for.

But when Herin finally met Mark at a corner coffee shop at the street down from their school, she felt relieved as she saw him with a white t-shirt and beige sweater vest, as his legs are perfectly wrapped around tight light blue jeans. He looks really fine though, she can't deny it.

"I thought you would cancel this last minute." Mark said, smiling as he pulled out the chair for her to sit and Herin replied the polite gesture with another smile and a small 'thanks'.

"I kinda forgot about it until last minute, actually." Herin replied, grinning sheepishly as she sat down.

And that's also when she realizes how awkward it is. God, she should have just cancel it. Sitting only with someone - who happens to be Mark Lee - who's just right across her like this seriously feels like a date.

Seems like some blind date Hina would have made her go to if not for the fact that she doesn't need any other dates.

"Uh, so, wanna listen to it together, maybe?" Mark asked and because Herin doesn't really want to do anything that is rather out of the context, she only nods awkwardly.

"Yeah, okay."

So, because Mark finds it awkward for them to sit across each other like that, the boy moves and sit right beside her before he pulls out his phone and plugged in the earphone.

Herin was about to take one of the earphones when she offered it only to be a bit startled when she felt him put it on her ear. And oh my god, blood is so rushing to her face when he made the contact.

Mark acts like he didn't notice anything weird - and acts so innocent as if he didn't just make her heart beats faster than it usually does and as if he didn't just make some light skinship that shouldn't have been really shared because for god's sake, Herin only have met him twice and he's already like this.

But anyway, Herin managed to survive. At least for another 10 minutes until she got confused a lot by Mr. Yoon's lecture. Probably because Mark only records the audio and not record it as a video instead - which means she will know what to really write down from the board.

Thankfully, Mark also seems to notice it as he sighed deeply. Before he paused the recording and then turns to looks at her. When no sound came out from the earphone, Herin turns to look at him and god, she swears her face must have flushed red for being flustered when they made eye contact.

"Do you want to watch a movie instead?" Mark asked her and Herin's eyes widened at the sudden offer. It doesn't take her long to agree to it though. She almost agrees in a heartbeat because damn god, that was boring.

So Mark kinda pulled out a laptop from his bag before he opens it and blah blah blah until he found a collection of movies that he has.

The two of them ended up watching Beauty And The Beast after scrolling down through the list, all because Herin told him how the animation made her cry and all but really, she never thought Mark would go 'oh then we shall watch this live adaptation' on her and clicking the video.

So they spend the next 1 hour watching the movie. And when it was the already the last scene where Belle and Beast - who have transformed to a prince - have reunited together, Herin have only realized how tears are building up in her eyes.

And what's more embarrassing is probably about the fact that Mark seems to notices it first. "You have tears in your eyes, Herin." He commented first, subtly pressing his lips together as if he didn't want to show that he's smiling.

Herin, who was shocked, widened her eyes and that's when tears finally started to stream down slowly to her cheeks. "I-" "Hey, it's okay." Mark cut her off and fuck, why does that sound so soothing on her ears?

Herin was really sure that she could die when Mark wipes her tears with his fingers and god knows why Herin's heart starts palpitating really hard when it brushed against his skin.

For the rest of the day, Herin tried her best not to look at Mark in the eyes at all. She failed several times because they still spend the next 30 minutes together and fuck, Mark was literally smiling eye to eye when he told her, "It's a really nice to hang out with you, Herin."

Herin only nods shyly, muttering a 'me too' and all, before she exits the shop and the girl literally tries to walks faster than she usually does so she could get home quickly.

And when she finally reached home, she sprinted to her bedroom - passing a confused Johnny who asked 'where did you go' that goes ignored, of course - as she throws her body to her bed and buried her face hard on the pillow.

Beep!

Herin opened her phone quickly, only to get a notification of a new message from no other than Mark. Taking a deep breath, Herin opened it.

Mark  
sent 4:12 PM  
are u home?  
did u get home safe?

Herin  
sent 4:13 PM  
yeah I did  
thanks for today

The girl throws her phone away right after, only to meet a beep the next second. It takes her almost 5 minutes because she was so hesitant to open it. She did though, in the end, and instead of getting 1 notification, Herin was shocked to see 2.

Mark  
sent 4:14 PM  
ok, I enjoy it a lot too! let's hang out more sometimes

Herin raised her eyebrow, before she types an 'ok' and then went back to the messages. Herin swore she almost drops her phone when she saw the other message, and god, her heart already did, actually.

love <3  
sent 4:14 PM  
herinnnn  
guess who'll go back to korea in April?  
i'm gonna see like after a month bby  
lots of love from me

Herin  
sent 4:20 PM  
I AM SO HAPPY  
OH GOD

Herin  
sent 4:21 PM  
OH GOD

Fortunately, Herin could sleep well that night. Unlike how she expected it to be. And Herin's heart is full of happiness. Like, literally. God knows what would happen in her life next.

_**-06** _

Times passed by quickly. It was around mid-February when Mark first meets Herin, it was also the first time since forever that Mark actually thinks history might be really interesting.

And now it's already nearing the end of March. It's already on the 20s, which means it's going to be April in no time.

What he never knows is the presence of the girl in his life would take a really big turn in his life - constantly changing all his routines, constantly changing him and somehow, even manage to change his perspective.

Mark thinks it's scary - but it is somehow amazing. It has been almost two seasons since he felt something like this. Which means it's like last spring or summer when he actually felt like this.

"You, guys!" Mark shouted as he approached the 5 boys sprawled on the grass field of Chenle's mansion garden. Him, and his rich friends, indeed.

Donghyuck and him quickly join them, as they run - while throwing their bag in the air in the middle of it - and then throws their body to the grass, their backs hitting the bare green plants hard and their eyes blinded by the sun as they looked up.

The team only responded with a chorus of 'ya finally here.' and Donghyuck and Mark only sheepishly grins at them - blaming it on their teacher instead which the group only responded with 'ok'.

They hang out like always. Talking about soccer stuff, and then to some movies or games that have recently came out or just throwing random comments to anyone. And somehow Mark is the center of attention for today.

"So... Heard you're getting close with Seo Herin." It was Jisung, but everyone - even Donghyuck who practically has all of the classes with him - nods their head in agreement and when Mark looks over to Donghyuck the boy only smirked at him.

"Yea, we're seatmates in History now." Mark replied, trying to imply how platonic it is between him and the girl - even though his mind is sure that it was an absolute lie, his mind realizes it.

"And?"

Mark raised his eyebrow at Jeno, who was eagerly staring back at him. "And... we're close?" Mark asked back.

The 6 boys groaned at his lame attempt at answering it.

"Are you like... trying to flirt with her, Mark?" Renjun, Mark's neighbor and best friend since infant - ok, maybe not really - asked him curiously and Mark went silent. He sure knows what his friends expect.

Is he? Not really. He's just kinda flirty with the people that he's comfortable with - it's something that is rather unavoidable. It's just how he always acts, and surprisingly, despite looking like a very calm and reserved person, Mark found her really fun and nice to talk to.

Like, how she laughs at his usual jokes and snorts at some lame ones. How she always took her time to reply anything that he said and how she scrunched her nose when she's confused as what to answer him or how she always look spaced out when talking to him - it's all a new variety for him.

But deeps down, he may have like her - somehow more than just liking a friend, or liking a mere person.

"Uh, I don't know?"

That was a stupid answer. Mark is very sure that he's not flirting with her. Oh well, his heart just kinda convinced him that he may have like her with all the constant stare and smiles he gave her but does it passed as flirting?

Well, maybe, Mark kind of pass her a few pick up lines. Damn.

"Well, damn, out of all people, you decide to go with her." It was Jaemin who have been all laid back earlier, who made his ears perked up - and of course, it does, he say it like it's a real misfortune. His stares pierce into Mark's eyes and Mark knows anything that Jaemin would say is probably going to be a really bad thing for him.

"Why?" Mark blurted out. Jaemin's lips are tightly shut as if he didn't want to talk and Mark now really wonders why. Finally, after a pregnant silent, Donghuck is the one who spoke - not without a lot of cusses first to Jaemin who's been hinting on him to talk.

"She's Kim Yeri's cousin and yup, it's the same Yeri you dated and dumped." Donghyuck said and then it's silent once again. It has always been a sensitive topic to bring up anything that has Yeri in it - it was an unspoken opinion, but all the 7 boys silently agree on it.

Ok, so Mark kind of can't see how the two girls can be related to each other by blood. Like, okay, so maybe both of them are really beautiful but other than that, it's a real nah for him.

Herin is kind of reserved, cute - like boldly written cute, and maybe have a good taste in humor while Yeri... god, she is everything that Herin isn't. Not that it's a bad thing but man, they are related? That just blows around 30% chance of Herin and him getting together.

Oh, wait - why is he even thinking about being with her?

"That's not even the actual problem." Donghyuck said and Mark raised his eyebrow, what else could be the problem? Unless-

"She has a boyfriend. 4 years into relationship, they start dating when they graduated from junior high and I heard he's hot." Donghyuck said, cutting off all his thoughts and- oh.

"Better than me?" Mark asked cockily, laughing at his own question as the others rolled their eyes.

"Ew, shut up. Since when did your ego burst this much?" Chenle asked him and Mark shrugs.

Donghyuck probably notices how lost Mark is in this thoughts, and picking up the hint, he changes the topic quickly, bringing all the attention to his own life instead of Mark's. Mark passed him a smile, and the red head only smiled back at him - Mark guesses it's just a Donghyuck thing to do, to help him when he can do nothing.

Man, Mark wishes he never has meet Herin now. Because now that he actually is falling for her, she breaks all of his feelings without even knowing. Not like it's Herin's fault that his heart is once again shattered.

Mark can't help but only blame himself - there's just really no one out there to blame, they are all innocent. He shouldn't have loved anyone else. One heartbreak is more than enough.

He's definitely not ready for two.

But Mark knows that despite all of this, his heart will probably keep on falling for the girl, and it gets more dangerous as it gets deeper. Damn Herin, and her pretty face that is probably why she has a lover.

Also, that is probably the reason why he can't get her out of his mind. Not even when he's all tucked in his bed at night. Not even when he's in dream.

Oh, god, just kill him already.

_**-07** _

It was already Saturday of March's last week and Herin should have been laying on her bed, doing the piled up assignments that the teacher gave her but instead, she's in a stadium that is filled with a lot of people, with Koeun and Hina.

"I never thought you'd actually come up with us!" Koeun said in a gleeful tone, shaking Herin's body as the three of them made their way to the front seat that they already reserved.

It was great, sitting at the very front. At least you'll get a really clear view of the game - no people will block your sight so you could probably understand and know what is actually happening in the game.

"Johnny force me to go out, and so did the two of you. How am I supposed not to come here?" Herin asked, laughing at the very end as they both sit down on the first line bench, with her squished in between Hina and Koeun.

"Well, but for real, you don't even like soccer game." Hina commented and Herin glared at the Japanese girl.

"Okay, but like, you two are all here for the players. Don't act all pro with me." Herin pointed out and Koeun laughed before the latter sets her eyes on one certain person.

"You can't deny the fact that Mark Lee is really hot when he's playing soccer though, seriously. How does he manage to always look like that?" Koeun asked, placing her elbow on her knees as she rested her chin on her palm, her face seems as if she's dreaming about the boy.

"Mark Lee is so weird though." Herin said with a shrug.

That's not really a lie though. If she should be honest, one of the reasons why she's here other than the already stated one is because of him. Mark has spammed her inbox with him asking her to come to his game since this will be his last one before he graduates.

Herin told him that she doesn't really like soccer in the first place so she doesn't know if she will actually come at first, but Mark keeps on insisting her to go - and god, that boy is indeed a stubborn one. He keeps on texting her about it, even calling her at some point only for her to say 'no, I'm not going to' before she hung up.

It was around Saturday last week.

When she meets him at school on Monday, he didn't say anything to her. But when he did meet her - as in saw her - he took out his phone, throwing his hands up in the air holding it and waving it around, signaling her to check her phone.

On Tuesday, Mark couldn't even shut up about it. From the very start to the end of the class, all he did is trying to get her to come to his last game. Okay, so maybe one can be stubborn but this is just too much. Why can't Mark gets her? She didn't like soccer. She didn't like going outside.

And she expects her to go outside for soccer game? That's actually a total no.

Her answer changes just the night before though, after Johnny has somehow been notified about the upcoming game and forced her to actually come - especially after he knew that one of the players (he didn't know Mark) told her to come.

So on Friday night, Herin's inbox is full of messages from Mark, Koeun, and Hina. Mark was so happy - it was so... amusing - when she told him that she'll come, and the other two was not any less happy than Mark.

But when the game starts, Herin started to regret her decision.

She didn't understand anything.

Well, at least she could see some players that she recognizes - Mark, of course, Donghyuck who she knew has like 4 classes together, and then a black haired boy called Jeno and from the other team is Jihoon, one of her neighbors that she used to be close to.

In the middle of the game though, Herin starts to get excited. Especially when her school's team scores the first goal of the game. Everyone in her section cheered really hard as Donghyuck shoots the ball, and it flies right to the goalpost. And even Herin screamed a 'fuck yeah' when it happens.

Koeun starts teasing her about how she keeps on saying it's boring at first but Herin only rolled her eyes to the girl, trying to forget about what she actually says at first.

It was less than another 10 minute when the other school's team also scored a goal and everyone was so devastated. There are some players change on the break and Herin could definitely spot Mark and oh god- Koeun is right, he's just so blazingly attractive.

Maybe it was because of the bandana that he wore, or maybe it's because how he actually looks good on a simple black jersey that shows how good his body is, or maybe it's just some little thing but Herin is definitely swayed. God, help her.

It took Mark around a minute to actually notices her and Herin could see a smile spreading on his face. She was so fucking glad both Hina and Koeun are going to the restroom at the moment because if they're here, they won't let her live. Well, actually, Herin doesn't even want to live.

Mark starts to wave his hand energetically at her and Herin tries her best to keep her cool as she waves back at him. He didn't say or do anything else other than that though, because the next second he already jogs up to his team again, talking with his coach and the other members until the break is over.

It was a long game on the second session, but when it ended, Herin was cheering so hard, standing on the floor as she jumps on spot, while Koeun was almost in tears and so is Hina.

The game ended with 4:2, her school's team leading the match and oh god, it must have felt so good for Mark, Herin thought.

It took her no time at all to notice a new message on her phone.

Mark  
sent 11:16 AM  
DID U SEE MEEEEEE  
OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS

Herin  
sent 11:16 AM  
CONGRATS ON WINNING  
u play really well mark

Herin  
sent 11:17 AM  
not joking at all, really

Mark  
sent 11:19 AM  
I KNOW  
thank you for coming :)  
I got so excited

Mark  
sent 11:20 AM  
especially after I saw you  
ur pretty today btw

Herin  
sent 11:21 AM  
are we back at that  
but thanks to u

Herin  
sent 11:22 AM  
but no srsly congrats  
u win on ur last game  
congrats!!!!!!

Mark  
sent 11:22 AM  
why r u so sweet  
and thank u OMG

Mark  
sent 11:23 AM  
u want ice cream? my treat

Herin  
sent 11:23 AM  
uh I came with my friends

Mark  
sent 11:23 AM  
I know  
I notice

Herin  
sent 11:24 AM  
yeah so I cant, I gotta hang out with them  
like after this  
so I cant  
sorry

Mark  
sent 11:25 AM  
omg thats okay  
maybe tmr? ;)  
or after school

Herin  
sent 11:25 AM  
aren't u busy after school  
?

Mark  
sent 11:26 AM  
I can always make time if its for you

"Okay, so who are you texting, Herin? Your ears are so fucking red." Hina said and Herin finally looked up from her phone, she turns off the screen at hurry before she shoved it into the pocket of her jeans.

"My boyfriend, of course. He's coming here next week."

That was a fucking smooth lie. The first sentence is a lie. The second one isn't though. Hina and Koeun both seem very surprised at her information but in a split of seconds, it's shown how they are actually happy as they both smile widely.

"Oh my god, he is?" Hina asked and Herin nods her head.

They discussed about her boyfriend then, but really the only thing that Herin is thinking is about Mark and his fucking text.

And oh, why do her ears even turn red at that?

At night, Herin finally decided that she couldn't deny about the fact that her heart indeed flutters when it comes to Mark Lee. And she's a really fucking bad piece of human, right now.

At midnight, Herin is fucking convinced that she wants to die. She really does.

**_-08_ **

It was the first Thursday of April and instead of it being clear because it's going to be spring in no time, it rains.

Since the very first time she wakes up at the day, everything has been going down hill ever since. And that's not what she wants, it's supposed to go up, for her to get pumped up and all excited because, for god's sake, it's a rather special day today!

But instead, she came late to school and for the first period, she stands all alone in the hallway as a group of boys who passes her snickers at her and Herin only glares at them. And then, when it was Calculus class, Herin forgets that she hasn't finished her work yet and get called out. In the end, she got a C after a lot of convincing to the teacher.

She was so in a bad mood after that. She never gets C. Not in Calculus where she's supposed to be good at! And then, on top of those, she was held back for extra lessons which are why she ends up coming home so late!

God, can this day get any worse? Herin thought. Well, apparently it can.

When Herin was walking to the main gate, along the side of the soccer field, with an umbrella on her right hand, a sudden pain came.

A fucking soccer ball - and not the plastic one too - hit her right on the knees, hard and she groaned in pain. Startled by the shock caused by it, she drops the umbrella as it falls on the muddy ground as Herin touched her knees.

God, not only that. Her uniform got splashed by the mud when the ball hits the ground. Now, not only that, fuck, the pain just won't get away.

"My God!" Herin shouted, still clutching her knees.

"Oh my! I am so, so, so sorry! I really am sorry! Are you okay? Did it hurt a lot?" A familiar voice asked her. The voice of someone who has been stored in the very back of her mind and one that she remembers by heart - for real, though.

The person sounds worried but Herin was so annoyed that she almost cussed out at him when she heard his voice - god, she was so ready to flip whoever it is but as she looked up and saw the person's concerned face, all those words are tied on her tongue.

"Oh, Herin, it's you! Oh well, wait- are you okay?" Mark asked her but when he notices the girl was rather frozen, he wait for no answer but to pick up her umbrella before she took her arm and slung it over his shoulder and then he helps her walking to the bleacher - where at least both of them wouldn't be soaked by the rain, even though they already did.

"I'm okay." Herin stated once both of them are settled down on the bench. Lies, it hurts as hell and her uniform is dirty - and she's a clean freak. She's definitely far from okay, she just want to go home at once.

"Oh come on, don't lie to me! You're literally limping earlier." Mark pointed out and oh well, maybe he's right. She's not okay at all. Also, why did she even lie to him? Herin usually is a straight forward kind of person, so why did she lie? To not makes him feel bad? Yeah, maybe.

"Are you going home?" Mark asked her and Herin nods her head.

"Well yeah, of course. I have a sudden extra class for Physics just now with Mrs. Shin. It ended up later than I thought and I haven't texted my brother yet about it so yeah, I'm going home as fast as I can." Herin explained and Mark's mouth turned into an 'o' shape. It was very obvious that he feels really bad about what just happened though, as there seems to be a flash of worry on his face.

And well, Mark really feels sorry for her. It was such a miss, the kick. What bad luck is this? Mark was literally going to kick the ball to Donghyuck, but he slips a bit and then that's when the calculation goes wrong and the kick went out of direction - and then, it flies right to her.

"Wanna call someone to pick you up? I don't think you can go by yourself at this state. You won't even make it to the bus stop." Mark said, his last words are an obvious joke as he giggles a bit when he said it. Herin hit him on the arm jokingly but she admits, Mark does really light up the atmosphere at times like this - oh well, him and his lame words.

Herin then remembers something before she smiles sheepishly and then looks at him in the eye. "I... uh, can I borrow your phone then? My phone is dead like since a long time ago." She explained and Mark only smiles at her - a very gentle and sincere smile it is.

"Sure, wait here." And then, Mark stands up before he jogs up to get his phone on his backpack at the locker room. It took him rather long, probably because once he steps on the field again, his members are bombarding him with questions. And they only let go of him after a good 5 minutes.

When he's back, Mark tossed his phone at her as she catches it perfectly - thankfully - and she was about to call someone when she felt a piece of cloth on top of her head.

Herin looks up slowly, but of course, the person that she found is no other than Mark Lee who's smiling so bright at her - and god, his smile definitely can rival the sun as the brightest thing in this universe, Herin thought.

"Your hair is so wet." Mark pointed out, pointing at her obviously soaked hair.

"Thanks." She shoots him a smile.

And then it was silence as Herin calls a certain person and it only breaks when the person answered her which is after around 20 seconds - 20 seconds of her worried glance, and her trembling hands and feet, and Mark couldn't decide if it's because of the cold or is it something else.

"Who's this?" It was kind of accented - somehow like his own Korean, if he needs to say. Who's she calling? Mark wonders.

"Yukhei! It's Herin."

What Mark definitely didn't fail to notice is the way Herin smiles the moment this Yukhei is on the line, and also how sweet her voice turns out to be when she calls his name. Is he jealous? Mark didn't know, but maybe he really did envy this person.

He got a bad feeling about it though. Herin's brother is called Johnny - that's what Donghyuck told him. Mark definitely didn't want this Yukhei to be the person he's thinking he is.

"Can you pick me up? I'm at school- uh, yeah... I kinda hurt my leg so I'm limping... no! Let's just go to my house after. Yeah, yeah, I'll wait, bye!" Herin shouted into the phone, ending the call before she handed it back to Mark.

"You switch to English." Mark commented and Herin shrugs, "I always talk with him in English, he's more comfortable that way."

"So... who's this Yukhei, huh? Is he your brother?" Mark asked and oh god, he regrets asking it.

Herin chuckles before she answers, and it's as if Mark was shot right at the heart, "He's my boyfriend."

Mark manages to smile at her answer. God, he hopes he's not too obvious then. "Ah~ I see. I heard he's a foreigner? So... he's here now?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay... uh, do you want me to walk you to the gate?"

Herin nods at his question. It's not any use to reject his help at this kind of time, anyway. She needs a hand, he's lending one, it's better if she grabs it and holds onto it.

So that's how Mark ends up walking her to the front gate as they wait for her boyfriend, Yukhei to shows up at any minute. And it was exactly 15 minutes for the said boy to actually arrive at the school.

Yukhei was tall - that was what Mark thought of him at first glance - and he has really big doe eyes. He's attractive and when Yukhei pulls Herin into a hug - despite her being all soaked and wet - Mark knew right away why she likes him.

And it fucking hurts him.

"Hey, I'm Yukhei. Herin's boyfriend." Mark took the hand that Yukhei offered as he responded with a smile, "I'm Mark. A friend only, I guess." He said jokingly but maybe Herin does notice the way he tensed up a bit and how bitter he sounds - Mark really hopes she doesn't though.

"Well, I guess we're set off now. Thank you for helping-" "Yukhei, stop embarrassing me!" Yukhei laughed when Herin cut him off and Mark just wants to die.

Die, and then get buried under the ground. Maybe that way he can live peacefully, as a ghost. That's definitely better though than watching the person he likes, looking so happy with her boyfriend. God, his heart is fucking torn by now.

"Anyway, thanks, bro!" Yukhei said, passing him a smile. And after another minute of Herin thanking him - which he can't even respond to well, because he was just so dead now - the two couple left by Yukhei's car - or Johnny's, as Yukhei said.

When Mark got back to the locker room, everyone from his team was all smile and bright eyes. Donghyuck had a smug look plastered on his face, as he winked at Mark the moment the boy steps into the room.

"So?"

"I'm ruined, guys, I'm ruined." Mark said, as he opens his locker and starts to get all his things before shoving it back to his backpack.

"Oh, come on! You can't fuck up any more than you already are, Mark." It was Jaemin. But it was everyone who got his wrath.

Mark slammed the locker door before he finally turns to his friend, "I meet her boyfriend. Guys, I'm so fucked up."

And Mark just wants to cry. So he did, at night when he's all alone.

**_-09_ **

When there's a knock on the door, Herin first thought that it was Johnny trying to wake her up as usual, so the girl lazily opens her eyes and kick her blanket off from her body, making it fall to the floor as she sits up straight on her bed.

Herin reaches out for her phone before she turns on the screen. It was Sunday, great. The girl groggily rubbed her eyes, removing the dirt and trying to actually open her eyes wide enough.

If it's Johnny who knocks on her door though, he would have only knock once, but not this time. When the knock on the door is repeated two times, Herin eyes widened in alarm.

"Herin? It's Yukhei, can I come in?" It was a muffled voice from behind the door but Herin heard it steer and clear. She jumped out of the bed in instant, screaming a 'NO! WAIT!' on top of her lungs as she quickly changes her pajama top to an oversized pink hoodie that she hangs behind the door.

After another 2 minutes of trying to tidy her hair and shaped it into a bun, Herin finally opened the door, revealing Yukhei who was standing right in front of it - all in his white t-shirt and boyfriend jeans, his freshly dyed almond brown hair messily ruffled up, completing the looks.

"You seem quite rough earlier, huh." Yukhei teased and Herin only laughed as she went out of her room. Yukhei sneaked an arm around her waist before he places a kiss on top of her head. Herin's face heated up at the skinship, oh god, how could her heart still fluttered a lot when they have been doing this kind of things since the past 4 years? She didn't know.

"I mean, you're the one who showed up out of nowhere, Khei, it's definitely not my fault." Herin said as both of them went downstairs.

Johnny greeted the two with a lazy smile. "Morning, lovebirds. Don't try to show it off in front of me or I'm gonna kick both of you out of here." He greeted as he passes by them.

Johnny was sipping his morning tea, before slouching off on the couch as always and turning on the TV to hear the morning news.

"Oh come on, Johnny. I haven't met Yukhei in ages. It's not like we're going to make out in front of you." Herin said and even though her ears turned a bitch pink after she said it, it was true.

"You meet him in January, Rin! Also, you know that Mom is going to disown you if you do that so-" "Which is why I won't. Now, enjoy your morning news and don't mind us." Herin replied snarkily as she led Yukhei to the kitchen. Yukhei was more than amused with his girlfriend, of course.

Instead of actually trying to cook a proper dish for breakfast, Herin's hands reached out for the top cupboard instead and then she took out a box of cereal.

Herin only flashed him a grin, "Cereal?" She asked him, offering the cereal box. Yukhei laughed - and oh god, it's beautiful Herin forget when is the last time she heard him laughing like this to his heart content.

Yukhei took the box from her hand. "Sure, miss, I'd have whatever you have." He replied sweetly and Herin only smiles.

Now that she's all alone with him, Herin has only realized how much she misses him when he's not here - with her. She also realized how much Yukhei mean to her, how much he holds the meaning of her life.

"What are you thinking about?" Yukhei asked her, when he notices that she was spacing out but Herin only shook her head and mutters 'nothing'. Yukhei only nods, not wanting to question her any further.

The two eats their breakfast upstairs, with Yukhei telling her that his family is not going to arrive until the next Friday which means he'll spend 5 days all alone - and then he keeps on muttering something along the line of how he will misses her and Herin rolled her eyes at his words. They'll probably meet after school and go on some dates like what they've done on last Friday.

Beep!

Herin's eyes widened at the sound before she finally opens her phone. At first, she thought it was Hina - and the image of their shared Biology project flashed on her mind for a few seconds - but instead it was Mark.

Mark  
sent 10:46 AM  
herin  
are u free?

Herin  
sent 10:47 AM  
I'm not  
sorryyyy  
what's it for?

Mark  
sent 10:48 AM  
wondering if u could help me  
and donghyuck with our history

Mark  
sent 10:49 AM  
but oh  
uh okay  
thanks  
see u tomorrow I guess

Herin  
sent 10:49 AM  
sorry :((

Mark  
sent 10:50 AM  
its alright  
have fun tdy!

"So... who's that? Hina? Koeun?" Yukhei asked, pointing at her phone and Herin was about to answer Hina in a heartbeat before she finally realized, why would she lie to Yukhei? That would makes her come off as a liar. It's not like she can't text Mark, right?

"No, it's Mark. He's asking for a help but uh, I can't." Herin answered and Yukhei gave her a firm nod, before breaking into a sweet smile.

"Are you two like really close?"

Herin raised her eyebrow but shrugs, "I don't know. We're seatmates in History and I have 2 other classes with him but I only know him like around February. He's popular so I know him but, like I only talk with him these days." She explained and Yukhei chuckles.

"He's good looking, I could definitely see why he's popular." Yukhei commented and Herin is once again confused. "Would you ever leave me for him?" He asked teasingly but Herin didn't know why her mind seems to take the question very seriously - when she knew it was just Yukhei joking.

"I- No, of course. Why would I leave you for him?" Herin asked back, and she was glad that it comes out as if she's confident in her answer when in the contrast, her heart was hesitant about it.

"Then are you saying you can't because I'm here?" The boy asked, his voice sounding amused and rather flattered at the same time. Herin, was flustered by his question. She manages to stutter a 'yes' in the end.

The boy pulled Herin down to her bed, resulting to them, both sprawled up in the small size of mattress. "I love you so much, Herin." He blurted out all of sudden and Herin buried her face on his chest after that, "I love you too."

**_-10_ **

"Ok, Herin, you better tell me what's going on because I'd rather not have you on your phone." Doyoung grumpily snaps at the younger girl in front of him and Herin flinched a bit at his tone.

She slowly looks up from her phone, her eyes shifted to her papers - that is only answered half through it because she was so stressed - before it finally lands on the man who's sitting right across her with his hands crossed in front of his chest.

Doyoung has a frown plastered on his face, and his eyes are definitely shooting lasers right at her - Herin could see why he's so annoyed.

"You're not even halfway on finishing your paper!" Doyoung once again shouted, and Herin cowered under his gaze. Her social tutor can sometimes be very scary and intimidating especially when he's all mad like this - he's definitely pissed off.

"I'm texting my friend." Herin said, finally putting her phone at the side as she went back on doing her papers.

"Lies." Doyoung retorts back and Herin sighed, looking up at the man again.

"It's Mark, okay? It's Mark! You know him, right? He's Taeyong's cousin." Herin said in defeat, before she focus on her papers again. Doyoung was silent and she's not really in the mood to try and talk with him.

Even when her phone beep continously, which she knows it's from Mark - because, who else? - Herin decides to ignore it, she can't pissed Doyoung even more, or else the man would kill him.

They stay silent just like that, both of them are in their own world. Doyoung was playing with phone, as he hums to some melody that Herin is not really familiar to but probably it's just the guy's new composed song for his college assignment - he's majoring in Music despite being a genius when it comes to social.

"I'm finished." Herin declared as she put up the paper in the air, waving it frantically before Doyoung took it from her hand. He went through it, scanning all her answers and trying to find any mistake on her answer but Herin sighed in relief when Doyoung handed it back to her without any sarcastic remark on her answers.

"That's good. Keep it up and you'll pass with an A, I'm sure." Doyoung said, flashing her his bunny smile that could probably heal the world.

"I'm trying hard but I guess I'll fail on History. My social grades went up but my history grades says 'bye'." Herin said as she rolled her eyes and Doyoung bursted into laughter at her statement.

"How bad could it be?"

"Really bad. I keep on sleeping at class and I barely pass with a B last term."

"You want me to tutor you on History too?" Doyoung asked, raising his eyebrow and Herin only shrugs, "Well, if you can..."

Doyoung rolled his eyes as he scoffed at the girl. "Anyway, I never knew you're friends with Mark Lee." Doyoung said and Herin raised her eyebrow before she replies, "It's not like you need to know everything that is going on my life. But yeah, I'm just close with him recently, we're helping each other in History."

"I knew it. I thought he's helping you but I remember how dumb Taeyong is and then I thought, can his cousin be any smarter than him?" Doyoung mumbles and Herin laughs at the indirect diss.

"Their family line only have genes for the faces, I swear." Doyoung said, still laughing at his own words and Herin was rather amused at him - Doyoung and Taeyong are best friends though, she knew it from Johnny that both of them are high school best friends and almost dated each other once, according to one of Doyoung's story.

"Oh, and they're all athletic." The guy continued.

"The opposite of you?"

"Hey! I'm not ugly."

"Maybe..."

"Oh come on, Herin, stop dissing me like that." Doyoung said, annoyed and that's when Herin broke into laughter, "You know I'm totally joking."

Doyoung rolled his eyes before he finally stand up, shoving his phone into his jacket before he grabs his backpack. "Anyway, don't be too close with Mark. Based on my experience, you can fall for him anytime, I guess that's how they're related." Doyoung said.

"It's an advice, by the way. Don't hurt Yukhei." He continued but rather than being thankful for the advice, Herin just felt a lof of mixed emotions.

"I'm not falling for him, Doyoung, I'm not."

What weirded her out is the fact that it feels like she's convincing herself more than convincing Doyoung. And she's afraid.

_**-11** _

There are a lot of reasons why Herin can't fall in love with Mark.

First, she already has a boyfriend - and Herin loves her lover to death. Second, Mark is Yeri's ex - and that makes him pretty much off limits because, for fuck's sake, Yeri is her cousin! She can't just go on and date Mark without feeling guilty at all.

Third, Herin knows very well that Koeun likes him - which puts her into a difficult situation for being in between of their on going somehow nonexistent relationship - and Herin doesn't want to go on and fall in love with her best friend's crush.

At first Herin thinks that Koeun's crush on him might only be a puppy love, but after all those talks that Hina made, she was sure it's more than only a light crush. And that's her absolute guilt trip.

In conclusion, she can't fall in love with Mark - at all, not even a tiny bit, not even when it's only 0.01%.

There are a lot of reasons of 'can't' and 'shouldn't' for her but there's none at all for Mark - there's none and that's why he's still there.

Going on the topic, Herin is not some dumb, dense, painfully oblivious type of girl. She's smart - smart enough to pick up his feelings, to acknowledge his hints and codes and all - but unfortunately, she's not smart enough to actually know how she should have responded to him and his feelings.

Is it good to just reject him face to face? He never even confessed though, that would be awkward if Mark goes on saying 'but I don't though?'

Can't she just shut him out though? She can't. It's just too hard when Mark literally contacts her twenty four per seven.

So it goes on with Herin trying her best so the thought of it didn't creep into her mind - which is so fucking hard at times, especially every time she remembers school, her mind will lure her into thoughts of a certain boy.

But what Herin never thinks will happen is that someone does notice it too, someone other than her.

"Herin, we need to talk." Standing right in front of her is a very familiar sight of a brown haired girl - it's obviously dyed though - with a deep frown carved on her face. Her nasal voice slightly irritates Herin but the latter only sighed.

"I don't need to talk to you about anything, Yeri." Herin replied quickly while on the other hand, both Koeun and Hina looks at her, confused and definitely amused. Yeri has never talked to Herin - at least not at school when people are watching them and they're open to the public.

Yeri didn't budge from her position though, instead, she keeps on staring at Herin, tapping the floor with her shoes resulting in a clicking sound every time it made contact with the marble floor. Herin sighed, why can't Yeri just leave her alone?

She looked up to her cousin before she took a deep breath. "If this is about-" "Great, so you knew it. Now, come on, I don't have forever all for you and you're wasting my time." Yeri said, grabbing her wrist.

Herin yanks it hard, but Yeri's grip on her wrist was much tighter and the former winced at the pain that she felt after that. Yeri drags her until both of them are at the corner of a deserted hallway - it's only deserted because it's the 4th floor and it's the senior's floor.

The brown haired girl looks around her surrounding first before she finally let go of Herin's wrist - which is now red because of the tight grip - before she took a deep breath and ready herself to talk.

"Okay, so I just want to say one thing. Stop getting too close with Mark." Yeri said. Herin only raised her eyebrow before she frowned.

"I can live my own life just fine, Yeri. I know perfectly what I should do and what I should not. You don't need to tell me to do anything, you're not one in the place to tell me that." Herin retorted back in defense.

Okay, she kind of know that Yeri would bring up this topic - what else can make them relates with each other if not for Mark? Nothing. But Herin never thought that she would just spit it on her face, straight forwardly and it's... a jab to her pride. Now, she seriously felt like she's toying with

Mark's feelings - or is she? I'm not, Herin is convinced.

"You're hurting both Yukhei and Mark, Rin. I heard that Yukhei is back here, won't you feel guilty to him if you keep on being so close to Mark? I mean, yes! I'm jealous of you, but I- I'm sure you know why. I'm sure you know something about Mark's feelings." Yeri said.

Herin could know that she was definitely being genuinely worried - even though she knows that Yeri is worried for both Mark and Yukhei only - and she was sincere in every of her words. Does Yeri still like Mark after all this time? She probably still does, Herin thought. Herin's face softened a bit after she realizes it.

"I told him that I have a boyfriend- god, he even meets Yukhei but he's not really backing off. Well, he kind of minimize it a bit but... I don't know, he's still there." Herin whispers softly.

Both of them was silent - Yeri probably didn't expect that, but it's not like Herin would want that, it's not his fault that Mark is rather stubborn, and it's definitely no one's fault that he keeps on trying.

"He... Try to push him though. Mark will never really back off, he's always like that."

"I know, but I just... can't. How do I push him without hurting him?"

"That's the point of this, you need to hurt him so he won't keep on going." Yeri said and Herin's lips twitched at her words. That's probably what happens to them, she thought.

"Anyway, I don't care what you want to say but I hope you stay out from Yukhei and my relationship. I love him with all my heart without a single doubt, Yeri. I know my limit and it's just Mark-"

"Don't try to blame Mark if you're not going to try too, Herin. Leave him, even if you need to hurt him, and he'll back off." Yeri said, cutting her off and even though Herin hates how the idea sounds, she knew it's true.

"I- I'll try." Herin said and Yeri nods her head. "Ok, just... try to sort it out well." The brunette said before she starts walking off from Herin.

When Yeri reached the end of the hallway, Herin called out for her, making the former turned around. "What?" Yeri asked, her eyes glaring at the other girl.

"Thank you, I guess." Herin said and smiled.

Yeri was rather hesitant, but in the end, she smiled. And it makes her feels rather relieved. Good.

**_-12_ **

Most of Herin's Friday nights were spent in her bedroom where she would catch up with the latest episodes of her favorite TV shows or dramas. Or at times, she would just spend it with Johnny, playing video games - mostly Tekken but at times, Johnny decides to have a throwback and then they will play Mario Kart with him getting the pleasure from winning the game - but Herin would just say that she actually lets him, which Johnny obviously didn't believe.

Or when it's before the final week, Herin would definitely spend her Friday night reading over her books - paying the most attention to the pages she has never even open before and observing it, trying her best to actually remember and not miss any single thing.

But tonight, Herin definitely has a different way to spend it. She was in Jeno's grand house along with her best friends and all the students in her year, partying to celebrate the fact that they will actually graduate in a few weeks. Actually, they still have their finals coming up a week later but all the third year just had enough of school already and decide to just party anyway, trying not to get stressed about the upcoming exam.

There are drinks served, probably because Jeno himself is already legal and so does half of her year's students. Even so, it was a rather wild night for all the seniors, and almost everyone drink at least a sip or so of the alcohol and that certainly didn't exclude Herin. She once tried drinking, after somehow Johnny forced her to drink with him and it left a bitter taste on her tongue that Herin actually swore she won't drink ever again.

But today, Herin decides to actually drink a glass of the alcohol that's served despite still not being legal to drink it. But then again what is the point of wilding at party without at least drinking once? Besides, she needs some fire to sparks up inside her body.

Everything is definitely going to be fine as long as she doesn't get drunk - she doesn't need to worry that her mother or Johnny will found out about it, because none will probably notice when she got back, and also Johnny will probably say something along the line of 'that's right, you're 18!'. Herin really hopes she won't get drunk though, she doesn't need to act all drunk at her final party.

Music is blasted through the room from the speakers, all played at the loudest volume. Everyone was literally dancing to the beat, their bodies bumped into each other as they jumped, their hands are high in the air, eyes closed feeling the intense music and absorbed in it completely.

Herin was dancing with Hina who was all drunk and a mess. Their moves are sloppy as hell causing both of them to bump into people as they keep on dancing.

Nothing is really invading her mind right now until her phone vibrates in the pocket of her jeans that finally snaps her out of her fake drunken state of mind.

It was Johnny, and he literally told her 2 points of things with 20 text messages - some of them are just spam, really. The first one is 'you need to go home fast' and the other is 'I can't pick you up' which means shit, because Hina was too drunk to even drove her home properly and on the other hand, koeun was nowhere to be seen since they arrived.

"Hina! Hina!" Herin shouted at her best friend, shaking the latter's body and Hina finally focuses on her, "I need to go home now, okay?"

"Huh, what did you say?"

"I. Need. To. Go. Home!"

"Oh, well, I can't drive. Is Johnny picking you up?"

Herin was about to shook her head when she realized Hina probably can't really see her well under the flashing lights. "Uh- no. But I think I will just call Yukhei. Anyway, I'm just gotta find a way. Take care, ok?" Herin asked her, patting the other girl's hair softly.

Hina nods before she smiles, "Okay... okay. Now, go..."

Herin smiled back before she pushed through the crowd, trying to get some water as she texts Yukhei to ask if he can pick her up. Luckily, after like a minute, Yukhei told her that he will pick her up and so Herin texts him the address of Jeno's house.

After taking a sip of water, Herin definitely felt better and felt more alive than she was earlier - she definitely is not feeling exactly sober though.

The party was so crowded yet Herin could easily spot a certain person amidst the sea of people when she is looking around the room.

There stood Mark in the corner of the room, a drink on his hand and Herin could feel her face heated up as she admires the boy. It took her a few minutes to realize that he was talking to a girl who just happens to be her best friend, Koeun. Oh, so that's why Herin can't spot her since the beginning.

Koeun was talking happily, her hand was touching Mark's as his other arm loosely drops around her shoulder. Herin can't help but felt rather... jealous at the sight that happens before her eyes. Even though another part of her was rather happy that Koeun is finally out there, getting some progress that she always dreams.

It seems like she's not the only one noticing Mark, because the next second, her eyes met his and Herin felt as if everything stops unless right now her mind rushed her to go so she quickly went outside, hoping that Mark wouldn't follow her.

But sometimes things go the way we don't want it to, it took a control and turn our hopes upside down.

"Herin!" It was Mark, she knew that voice by a heartbeat.

She didn't stop walking to the front porch of Jeno's house but Mark didn't stop on chasing after her.

"Herin, wait!" Mark shouted in English yet his voice came out muffled. Herin didn't stop walking despite his words. He catches up to her, before grabbing her by the wrist and Herin stopped on her heels as she was spun around by the other boy.

It was quite obvious that he was drunk, judging by how red his ears despite the night being absolutely warm because it's already summer.

"Herin, I need to tell you something."

Herin definitely knows where Mark is going with this - it's too fucking obvious - but even though she knew what will happen in the next few minutes, Herin couldn't stop it. She couldn't say anything back to him other than asking him softly, "What is it?"

It didn't sound harsh like what she wants. She wants to snap at him but her words came out gentler than she expected it to be, and she hates it.

"I like you." Mark blurted out.

It was a confession that Herin obviously expect to hear since a long time ago, but that doesn't mean that it didn't cause such a big impact on her.

It was as if the sky falls to the ground, and her world was falling apart, it actually really is though. Her world is falling apart - for sure.

"I like you from the very first time we talked in History." Mark mumbled, hiccuping in between his words and all Herin could think is how he seems like he'll pass out anytime soon. How can she only notice it now?

"At first, I just like seeing you but you're... you're just so kind and unique and all, and I felt attracted to you even if I- I don't want it. I fall for you." Mark continued and it took Herin a long time to finally register what he was saying with the way he keeps on switching languages to English.

"I know that you have someone already and I- I admit that I shouldn't be doing this but I can't stop myself from falling for you."

Herin knows that she's not supposed to feel as if her heart is beating faster, she knew she shouldn't have feel flustered - she should have turned him down steer and clear yet right now she's struggling with fighting herself instead.

"I like you a lot."

No, you shouldn't like me, Herin thought.

Mark took a step forward, putting his palms on her shoulder, gripping her tiny frame tightly and his eyes are piercing through hers.

"Mark... No..."

The girl freaked out the moment Mark start leaning in close to her, closing the gap between them. And her mind was frozen when he kissed her.

It's nowhere near gentle - it's rough. He was moving, trying to find the right pace yet she was pushing him away with all her might. This is not right, she knew it. Herin was thankful that she was sober enough not to kiss him back, because fuck, that would be very awful of her.

Mark's grip on her was definitely tight and no matter how much she tries to push him, she just can't.

And it was going on until someone pull Mark away from her, and Herin falls to the ground due to her wobbly knees. She looks up, only to be shocked when she saw Yukhei.

Yukhei, throwing a punch to Mark's face. His fist landing on Mark's cheek completely, hard and controlled by anger. One punch turns into two, three, four- Herin stood up and tries to pull Yukhei away.

"Yukhei, stop! Stop!" She cried out but he didn't listen.

It was until someone finally went out and see all the commotion, that the person tried to separate Mark and Yukhei. It happens to be Mark's best friend, Donghyuck who seems shocked - yet he's not mad, why?

The moment Donghyuck finally manages to pull Yukhei away from Mark, Herin back hugs her boyfriend quickly before she softly whispers, "Yukhei... please."

That's probably when Yukhei come back to his sense. He took her hand the moment she releases the hug, holding it softly as he led her to his car.

The drive to her home was more uncomfortable than when silent invade.

"I'm sorry." Herin apologized. She was sincere. She was so guilty and she can't help but feel ashamed of herself.

"It's okay." Yukhei said and he sighs, "I saw you pushing him away."

"I'm still sorry. I-" "Herin, it's not your fault. It's his." The girl didn't want to argue with Yukhei now and no matter how much she blames herself, she knew that Yukhei won't agree and she knew that she should just stop. The way he firmly said her name is already enough for an alarm.

"Can you do me a favor, Rin?"

"What is it?"

"Don't talk to him, please. Just... I know that he's drunk and all but, I just want-" "I understand, I won't talk to him if you don't want me to."

Herin passed him a smile and Yukhei smiled back at her. Both of them are all silence after that until they drove near her house already.

"Herin, I love you. I love you to the moon and back, and I won't ever doubt your feelings for me. Just because that boy kiss you out of nowhere when it's clear that he's drunk, doesn't mean that I'm going to break up with you. It's more than enough to trust you when I saw you not kissing him back and instead, pushing him away." Yukhei started and Herin felt like bursting into tears as she listened to him closely.

"Thank- Thank you."

Yukhei kissed her that night when she was about to go inside. Instead of the shy pecks on lips or wet kisses on the forehead like what he usually did, he placed a chaste kiss that lasts long on her.

Herin kissed him back, following her feelings with tears streaming down from her eyes. She cried herself to sleep that night too.

Herin was ashamed of herself.

**_-13_ **

It was once again Tuesday. All day long, Herin tried her best to stay low, she didn't want to meet Mark, she really didn't want to.

If she could, Herin would definitely rather be absent than to attend and meet Mark but Johnny won't let her apparently because she's already absent on Monday - even though her brother seems to know she's stressed.

But of course, no matter how much she avoids it, it is bound to happen at a time. Like how they are going to have class together like right now - and also they fucking shared the fucking same desk - so her only goal, when she enters the room, is to find a new spot.

Unfortunately for her, the only spot that's available is her usual one - and god, Mark is already sitting there, red earphones attached to his ear as he plays with his phone - and the other one is with... Lee Donghyuck.

God, it was either the person she avoids or the best friend of that person. It also didn't help about the fact that Donghyuck is there when the incident happens on the party - well, in fact, he's the one who helps her. Ugh.

But when Mark looks up from his phone and looks around the class - and catches her eyes, locking it with his - Herin quickly walked toward Donghyuck without even thinking twice.

"Can I sit here?" She asked the red head, pointing at the empty seat.

Donghyuck seems to be rather startled and at the same time, flustered but he only nods his head with a shrug. Herin gave him as small smile before she took a seat and the class started.

Herin expected it to be a silent class, maybe she can actually sleep through it if she's lucky enough but not really, Donghyuck decides to talk to her after an awkward 15 minutes.

"You look pale." Donghyuck pointed out and Herin stops taking down notes before she looks at him instead. She confusedly points at her face and is about to ask him but the boy spoke first and she was caught off guard.

"Is it Mark?" Donghyuck watches as Herin went silent and he chuckles, "I'll definitely take that as a 'yes'."

Herin is unsure of what to do. Should she talk about it more to Donghyuck?

Well, that's not the best idea out there. The best one is probably to just ignore whatever Donghyuck has said and pretends like the conversation never exists in the first place. What if she told Donghyuck and then the latter tell Mark about it?

"Want to talk about it? I mean, I do saw what happen with my own two eyes but if you just need to talk then, I'm good. I won't tell Mark, I don't think he's one to know what you felt." Donghyuck stated after he seems to noticed her silence. At the same time, Herin kind of feels like he shouldn't have done that.

Herin falls deep in her thought after and then, the memories resurfaced in her mind. How Mark pulls her and spun her around, how he broke down into a heartfelt confession that seems to be so sincere and how it all seems like a perfect romance scene of a movie - unless it's not.

And then Herin remembers how Mark kisses her ever so sweetly at first, even though it went rather rough later - how his lips taste like cherry, how soft his was against hers and then she remembers pushing him away because it's not right and never will be right.

And how she felt so ashamed of herself. How she knows for sure how much Yukhei was hurt that night and how she cried a sea of tears yet no guilt was taken off from her.

How she can't keep thinking about how much she hates Mark in his drunken state and how she's too weak to even push him away, how much she wants to apologize to Yukhei because even if the boy didn't say it out loud, she knows he deserves a thousand apologies.

"Oh my god, you're crying." It was Donghyuck's low hiss that snaps her out of her thoughts and Herin's eyes widened. She's crying? Sure, the next second a tear drops to the desk and then another one stream down from her eyes. Herin was flustered.

"Hey, you want to go to the infirmary? You look pale and you're crying- don't even try to say you're okay." Donghyuck asked and snaps at the same time and Herin doesn't know whether she should feel embarrassed with the fact that she's crying right now or she should feel touched because wow, Donghyuck sure cares a lot about her.

Herin hates how much warmth Donghyuck has in his voice though, it makes her remember both Mark's and Yukhei's at the same time.

Herin shook her head as she wipes her tears before she mouths, "No, I guess I'm okay."

Donghyuck only shook his head. "Come on, just go there and like rest a bit before you come home." Donghyuck tries to convince her. It's not really the way Donghyuck seems concerned about her that makes Herin says 'ok', it was a glance to Mark and how he was actually staring back at her with sorry reflected in his eyes that make her do so.

She doesn't want to see those eyes - those eyes that usually shines bright with mischief but not now. It hurts her to see him so Herin says, "Ok." to Donghyuck.

Herin would do anything to get away from Mark - from pain.

**_-14_ **

Herin knows that she should have been all enjoying her time with her friends. In the end, it's not every day where she could actually spend time with both her best friends before the upcoming finals on Monday.

But this time, she was more than uncomfortable to actually talk with Hina and Koeun. The guilt is still there and the fact that she can't even open up about the party incident from last Friday night makes her feel worse. How can she just hide it deep inside when both of them deserves to know?

The fact that finals are coming up right away yet she still has to study for like 2 more subjects and how she still hasn't made a resume for both Biology and Physic almost made her insane.

"I'd probably need to sacrifice my weekend for this finals. I really, really want to graduate with good grades." Hina said, sipping on her coffee and Koeun nods along.

"I know right! I've been studying like a zombie for the past days." Koeun stated and Hina chuckles before shot a look to Herin and a teasing smile - one that is kind of filled with a bit of envy - appeared on her face.

"Well, Herin, it seems like you'll have it easy again, huh?"

"Huh?" Herin asked back.

"I mean, you'll do great anyway. You can not study and will probably get all A and also-" "Who said that? I study all day and night to get an A!" Herin protested and Hina was rather taken aback by her friend's outburst.

"Did you think I get all the As in my exams without any hard work?"

"No, it's not-" "Are you all saying that I have it easy? No! I study until my blood comes out all to aces the exams!"

"Well, you're not one to talk actually. You have almost everything, Herin!

You have a boyfriend, a brother, the looks, the grades, you got everything even my crush's heart!" Koeun shouted at her and all three of them was silent.

The peoples from the other tables turned their head to them. Their screams sure brought attention but at this time, Herin can't even think straight anymore. All she could feel is the anger burning up inside her and how much she wanted to vent it out.

"And do you think I actually want that? That's not my freaking fault!"

"Oh, of course! But you could at least try to consider your best friend's feelings rather than all of a sudden getting closer to him when you already have a fucking boyfriend, Herin!"

"If you don't actually know what-" "I knew! I knew! He told me straight on my face about how much he loves you and all!"

Herin fell silent. Mark told Koeun that he likes her?

"You and your fucking no flaw life can go and get out of here if you feel so fucking hurt by the fact that we state a fact. You have it all easy, Herin."

"Do you all say my life is easy? Do you guys even know about the fact that I indeed quit my tutor lessons because of my family financial problems? Do you guys know how it was like to live a life all independent? Do you know how hard it is for my family without a father?" Herin shouted at them as she stood up from her seat, her face is red.

"What?" Hina lets out a soft question.

"Of course you two won't notice it. My mother is a single parent and our family has it hard! I need to study hard so I'd be accepted to a top university and Johnny even need quit two terms of university before!" Herin once again shouted at them but anger is not the only thing she felt.

She felt sad, she felt so little when she told them all of these. Herin has never wanted to tell her best friends about this, unless maybe when they actually notice what's going on - because she wouldn't want to lie to them.

But all these years, they have been friend, Herin couldn't believe her friends didn't even want to know about it - they all ignore her life, all with thinking that she's living a good one.

Sure, she has a boyfriend. But it's not like Yukhei just came to her without any of her efforts. Back then, she tries hard to actually get close to him, to actually win over Yeri - because yes, her cousin also likes Yukhei before - and all, and after all her dedication, she dates him.

And good grades, she worked until there's blood all for it.

Yet her friends call it as something she easily gets?

"I'm leaving. If you two want to study hard, then study all you want. I will just live my oh-so-good life alone anyway." Herin said coldly as she stomps her shoes hard on the floor and left them.

Once she was out from the cafeteria, Herin runs with all her might to the rooftop. Tears are already forming in her eyes and she was more than worried that it would fall anytime.

When she was there, she slammed shut the door before leaning her back against it, sitting on the cold floor. Herin let her tears drop, as she vents out her frustration. Why does her life turn like this?

The girl tries to take out her phone from her pocket before she scrolls through the contact list. Who should she call? It seems like she can't talk to anyone - none of the people she knows seems to know what's going on with her and it's not like she wants to bother them.

In the end, she rings no one but her brother.

"Hey, Rin. Why did you call?"

"Can you pick me up?"

"Huh? Aren't you at school? What happen? Are you sick?"

"I'm- yeah, I'm not feeling well today."

"Okay, I'll pick you up."

"Okay, thank you, Johnny. I... I love you."

"Huh? I love you too."

The call was then disconnected and Herin sighs.

Should she just call in for being sick? That would have been better than actually attending class when she can't even focus, right? Anyway, finals are right up before her eyes, so it's not a matter to attend class - the teacher most probably won't attend it.

After another 5 minutes of silence, Herin finally stood up proper and straight as she tidies up her uniform and hair, she can't show up all messed up like that - people would probably pity her if so.

Her hand was on the handle of the door and she twisted it open.

What Herin didn't expect is to actually meet with the back of a certain red head who of course, if she's not wrong then he's probably has been there for a few minutes.

"Donghyuck?"

"Saw you in the cafeteria. Mark seems to worry about you and-" "He sends you here?" Herin cut him off but Donghyuck only shrugs at her.

"Not really. I was a bit concerned and when I saw him like that, I can't help but just follow you out here."

"So..."

"Are you okay?"

Herin looks at the boy in front of her with a weird look but she nods her head anyway. "I guess. I don't know. I'm going to go home." She mumbled to herself but Donghyuck only smiles a bit.

"Hey, I just want to say this but I hope you can solve it with Mark. I mean, of course, you probably hate him to death right now but he's so close to killing himself these days. I'm worried for both you and him." Donghyuck said and Herin raised her eyebrow.

It's not a surprise.

She sure knows that Mark is suffering too, but it's not like he's innocent. He's the one at fault! Or at least that's what Herin tries to say to herself. She doesn't want to blame herself again, even though deep down, maybe it's all because of her.

"Don't blame yourself. It's his fault and he knew it. He tries his best to apologize to you but-" "I block his number." Herin cut the red head and Donghyuck only shrugs, "Yeah, that."

"I'm sorry that my best friend is an idiot."

"I... Uh, is that even his fault?"

"Yes, probably. I know you're thinking about 100 ways to actually kill Mark or maybe like how to make him feels like he didn't exist or maybe, something like 'can Mark go and fuck himself already'," Donghyuck started and Herin lets out a chuckle - that was kind of true though, she did think of things like that after that time on Tuesday. "But deep down, I also knew that you probably feel about... I don't know, liking him? I think it's there, somewhere."

"What?"

"I said, you like him."

"I like Mark?"

"I thought that's obvious as hell."

"I... I don't. I don't even like the kiss!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

Herin remembers how much disgust that she felt at that time, how much she was surrounded with hatred for Mark but then a flash of the memories from last Friday night appears again on her mind and Herin could feel how sweet his lips are- wait, what?

"Oh my fucking god." Herin muttered under her breath.

"Did you like, realize something?" Donghyuck asks her, his face looks rather smug as if he knows what she was thinking. Herin only glares at him.

"I-" "If you think you like him, choose one. Leave him or make him stay." Donghyuck said before the girl can even say anything else.

"I need to go." Herin mumbled.

"And so do I. Try to text me if you finally admit it. I'll help." Donghyuck said and winked at her before he left her alone, all stunned.

Herin's life turned more chaotic than it already is. But it was as if... a puzzle has finally been solved. And... there's only one missing piece. Her choice will be the one that decides whether the puzzle will be solved or it will make another one.

**_-15_ **

Herin sighed.

The calculus exam still stay in her mind and it's not going to go anytime soon, it seems. It was really hard and she probably damages her brain while she tries to answer it. She can't answer like 5 questions, she's doomed.

That probably has something to do with her mind that seems to not remember anything she already studies last night. And that sucks, a lot - because Herin really gives her everything for Calculus.

The girl shuts her book close, a bit frustrated that she can't seem to focus on English - not that it was a major problem because she's already more than fluent on it and also, most of the time, English exam is easy to pass.

The girl picked up her phone instead, and then she remembers, Donghyuck's words last Friday, it's still pretty much glued on her mind.

She scrolled down through her text messages and then found that one conversation with Mark. "Should I unblock him?" Herin muttered to herself questioningly, as she looks through the chats. Looking back at it, she really should have tried to stop him from the very first time - it was so obvious that he was flirty, but why did she accept it and brush it off so easily?

Another 3 minutes were spent debating herself whether to do it or not, but in the end, she decided to unblock him and then chats from him flood her phone - like how it used to.

Mark  
sent 5th June 1:21 AM  
Herin, I'm so sorry  
I'm not in my right mind that time  
I'm so fucking sorry  
I'm really sorry

Mark  
sent 5th June 1:22 AM  
Herin, please answer me...  
I'm so, so sorry  
I know what I did wrong  
I'm sorry

Apology, and more apologies and she could definitely tell how sincere he is with all of those texts. He practically sent her apology, even though at one point, Herin is sure he knows that she blocks him. The latest one was just this morning.

Mark  
sent 7:01 AM  
I'm so sorry, Herin  
I know you hate me so much  
I really am sorry  
And I will still stay sorry

Herin hesitates a little bit to reply. Yukhei did tell her to not contact him anymore and she really didn't want to do any contact with him again, but Donghyuck was right. She needs to respond so it will be solved.

Donghyuck made her realize something important. Time makes it flew, it didn't make what's already happen forgotten. That's what she thought right now. This can't ever be forgotten, but maybe she could solve it.

Herin  
sent 6:26 PM  
I take your apology  
Thanks for admitting it

Herin sighed. Indeed, she felt more relieved now that she acknowledges all his apologies. But is it right to just let everything fall into the place like before? Maybe, it's not right but there's two choices, she can grab either one of it.

And even if there's only two, she would find another way. She definitely would find another way. Maybe something more complicated, but the thing that matters is the end of it.

There's a knock on the door and without her signal, the handle twisted and revealed a tall guy who enters the room ever so quietly as if he thinks she's not there, looking all confused at the sight of him.

"Hey." Herin greeted him first and then the tall figure, Johnny just nods at her before he crawls to her bed and lies on it.

"You seems to be really bothered." Johnny stated out softly but it was echoing through out the room because of the silence.

"I- Uh, I... have a lot in my mind right now." Herin answered and fuck, that's really lame of her. One glance and he can probably read about it just by her facial expression.

"Is it school? Or, uh... within our house?" Johny asked her awkwardly and Herin sighed. The girl stood up from her seat before she lies down on her bed right beside him and closed her eyes.

"I may or may not have fought with Yukhei." Herin responded and Johnny only chuckles at that. Herin raised her eyebrow, he's chuckling?

"I knew." Johnny mumbled.

Herin opened her eyes wide at his words before she turns around to face him, "You knew?"

"He didn't come over like he usually does. That explains the situation between you two really fast." Johnny answered and Herin's mouth shaped into an 'O'.

"Actually, I'm more on a silent term with him. I... I find it awkward to talk to him."

"Because of what happens with Mark?"

"Yeah- wait! How the fuck did you know about that?" Herin asked him. She never remembers telling her brother anything about the incident last Friday and... just how did he know it?

Johnny only gave her a shrug. "Mark told Taeyong about it. And my dear friend accidentally spills it to me. I found it interesting though. I mean, you and Mark. Wow, never expect that."

"That's because I would never be with him, Johnny."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"100% sure?"

"100%."

Johnny only giggles softly at her. Herin didn't know why but she can't help but smile at her brother. Silence fell over them again until Herin, decides to spoke up again, "I also fought with Koeun and Hina."

"Wait, you did? Why did you fight with them?"

"I'm frustrated and they just kind of... annoy me."

"Let me guess the next, you shout at them?"

"I... guess? I did vent out at them and all and now I'm sorry but I'm also not. We didn't talk or even greet each other now. We avoid each other at school, you see."

"You should talk to them sooner or later though, or just at least try to text them and say hi."

"Yet I continue treating them as if they didn't exist at school? That didn't add up." Herin stated, yet for Johnny, it felt like she was hissing at him.

The taller guy sighed before he sat up and then looks down at his sister.

"Let's go and have a vacation this weekend. Invite Yukhei over and I'll invite Doyoung, Taeyong, Taeil."

"Taeyong?"

"He's like one of my best bro, Rin. It's not our fault that you're on a really awkward term with his cousin right now."

"Ugh, okay. Just don't go act all lovey-dovey with Taeil, okay?"

"Well, he's hot so it depends."

Herin throws a pillow on her brother's face and Johnny laughed at her.

"Get out, bro." Herin said and Johnny only chuckles before he stood up and shot her a teasing smile. Herin raised her eyebrow yet she can't help but also laugh at that.

Maybe her brother is right, she needs to take a break from her hectic life. One break where she can talk about the things she felt without lying and one that can help her decide on the next step of her life.

She needs to choose and make one quickly anyway.

**_-16_ **

Much to her amusement, they really went to a vacation that weekend. They go by Doyoung's car. Herin sat with Yukhei at the very back and even if the first few minutes were awkward as hell, both of them could break it and even she fell asleep on his shoulder.

It was actually Herin's first ever time meeting Taeyong and god, did the gorgeous boy reminds her so much of Mark - both from the cool aura they have yet those awkward and lame jokes they made.

Much more to Taeyong's cold look, he was surprisingly really welcoming - both to Herin and Yukhei, even though Herin notices the confusion in his eyes when he saw Yukhei.

They went to the coast on the city side since Doyoung recommends it. It was a lot more fun than she expected it to be. The older group of friends try their best not to pry on Herin and Yukhei's business and Herin was rather glad about it.

It took her around 2 minutes to convince Yukhei to left the house they're staying in for the night and take a stroll on the beach.

"Come on, they won't get worried. Not when they're obviously flirting with each other like that." Herin said as she drags him outside.

The wind was rather warm since it's summer but none of the two mind it at all. They stroll through the beach, their foot bare and touching the soft white sand.

"Yukhei, I... I need to tell you something."

"Something about us?"

"I- Yes."

Both of them are silent until Herin finally spoke up after taking a deep breath, "Let's have a break."

It was as if Yukhei actually expects her to say that. He only smiles at her and waits for her to say something.

"Is... is that okay for you?"

"I honestly saw it coming."

"I... Sorry."

"That's fine. I'm glad you told me about this. It hurts more if you try to keep it alive when it's barely breathing." Yukhei said, in some metaphor that sure describes them rather well.

Herin didn't know why but she wants to cry.

There has always been something about Yukhei that she really loves. She's not sure if it's because how he was always concerned about the others and how he always put the others before him, or if it's just a biased opinion from her - Herin kind of thinks it's the latter, though.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I can't say anything else other than about how sorry I am, you know. I just... felt so guilty." Herin said, as she stopped on her heels and Yukhei followed her, turning to her when he stops.

"I love you, Herin." Yukhei blurted out and Herin felt her world stopped.

Her breath hitched, and she was frozen for a few seconds until she felt tears dropping to her cheeks, wetting her pale skin and Yukhei smiles genuinely at her, "You're crying."

"I'm sorry."

Yukhei said nothing but hugs her tightly - it has always been their way of assuring each other, of comforting each other and it has also been long since the last time they did it.

"Don't cry, Rin." Yukhei's sweet voice seems to have melted the inside of her. Herin was both confused and guilty. Maybe they really need to start over from the very first time. Maybe this is some kind of test to their relationship - which saddens her, because that means she's weak, for all of this.

She's too weak. He's way too lenient.

"I... Thank you, Yukhei. For all the things you did."

Yukhei didn't answer her. But the way the hug tightens is more than an assurance that he thinks it's all right.

For once, after a long and stressing week, Herin felt at least more at ease.

**_-17_ **

There were always hard days - such as the finals week, and those stressing week that Herin felt for the few past weeks - but after these hard days, Herin thinks the days that will come later will always be better. And it's true.

Herin barely passes the following week from finals alive, but it seems like the 2 days and 1 night vacation that she had with Johnny's friends and Yukhei made her felt a lot better.

Now that they are graduating, finally, after a long and painful 3 years, Herin thinks, will she regret the things she decided to do now in the future? She knows the answer, probably a 'yes'.

There are a lot of foolish decisions that she made when she's in high school. A lot of it. All because of her constantly changing teenager emotions, and some are probably because of some outside influence.

Johnny told her that life is full of regrets though, but being wrong doesn't mean it will be the end of their life. And Herin decides to believe him.

Life is full of regrets and Herin learned it the hard way - all by having those regrets occurring in her own life - but at least she manages to get through it.

It was already their graduation day, and she still didn't talk to Koeun - even though when they pass each other, they both flashed a smile - and she still acts as if Mark didn't exist in reality even though both are already over it, really.

She keeps her distance with Yukhei a bit, but they talk like everything is okay and they're best friends, and she still cries herself to sleep at some nights. But Herin thinks it's all okay.

"Student... Seo Herin."

Herin stood up upon getting her name called. Finally, it's her turn. She waited for such a long time already that she even space out for like half the event.

All the students in the auditorium clap as she went up to the stage where the teacher handed her graduation certificate and gave her a mic - for speech, fuck them.

"First and foremost, I want to thank God. And also... my mother for always supporting me at whatever I do, my brother for always being there for me at my hardest time and uh, my best friends..." Herin could spot the smile on both Koeun and Hina's faces and she smiles back, "That sticks through with me despite all the bad things I've done, and my teachers, and uh, I guess I just gotta thank everyone for existing in my world because you all are the one who made me the way I am now."

Most of the students laughed at her words. Herin too chuckles lightly.

"I'm sorry for all my mistakes that I made and I hope if you all ever have a grudge or just any kind of hatred to me, I hope you all will let it go. And, uh..." Herin tries her best to remember the words. Yet she needs to find Johnny first, who then mouthed her the speech he has made for her.

"Right, I'll try to be a better person from now on." Herin said and smiled, and everyone gave her their applause. Herin bowed slightly, whispering a rather inaudible 'thank you' into the microphone before she went down from the stage and back to her seat.

The ceremony went on - students getting called one by one and then handed their certificate and giving speech - and then it's closed by the principal with his long ass speech that Herin listens half assedly.

At the very end, all the students throw their hats off into the air and everyone was all smiles and screams.

The first thing Herin did after that was searching for her best friends, Koeun and Hina, and when she found them, the trio shares the longest embrace they probably ever had without any word.

"I'm so sorry, guys." Herin blurted out as she wipes the tears that roll down on her face. Hina hushed her meanwhile Koeun only gave her a smile.

"I'm so sorry, Herin. I'm so sorry." Koeun said, tears are threatening to spill from her eyes.

"No, it's- I was at fault. You are right. I should have considered your feelings more, Koeun." Herin said and really, up until now, there's still guilt inside her. Her wrongdoings can be forgotten but it can't be erased, and Herin thinks that's why it's normal to have such a burden because it's never going to be erased from her own history.

"No! I- I was so mad at you that time. And I- I hear from Yukhei already. You broke up with him, right?"

"I... Yes." Herin confirmed it and there's a slight shock on Hina's face but Koeun only smiles at her.

"Have you talk to Mark then?" Koeun asked her and Herin shook her head. No, she still hasn't do it. And there's no plan for her to.

"You really should talk to him, Herin. This is your last chance. Just... try to clear up everything between you and him. And like, if you really like him, don't let him go."

"And you?"

"I kind of realized my other half is probably more than Mark."

Both Herin and Hina laughed at Koeun's words. "Go," Koeun whispered to her as she gives a light squeeze on Herin's hand. An encouraging smile is plastered on both Hina's and Koeun's face.

Herin smiles. Maybe, Koeun is right. If she can get over it, Herin should get over it too.

So she walks away from them with a determined smile on her face before she runs amidst the crowd of students, searching for a particular face of a brunette that she has hate on a lot for the past weeks.

Herin almost broke down into tears yet again upon seeing him, standing on his toes perfectly, holding a bucket of flowers on his hand as a couple on their middle ages are standing right before him. It's his parents, she supposes.

"Mark!" She called out just like that, and he whipped around to her call, eyes widened when he saw her.

Herin went up to him and she was glad when Mark's parents - the Lees - gave them space by leaving their son all alone.

"Hey." He softly greeted her and Herin smiles at his sweet voice.

"I'm sorry." Herin apologizes and her words came out so softly as if it was meant to be a whisper - which it is not.

"I should be the one who says that, idiot." Mark said, his voice is rather hoarse this time around, yet when he chuckles a bit at the end of his sentence, Herin thinks everything is so normal.

"I'm sorry. I really am."

"I know. I want us to get over that."

"How?"

"I don't know."

Mark only smiles at her before he hugs her, "Thank you. For forgiving me when I can't even forgive myself." Mark said and Herin hugs him back after a few seconds of hesitating.

"You too. Thank you for owning up to it." Herin said and they both released each other after.

When Mark stares at Herin yet again, as the girl then leaves him all alone, Mark knows it will be hard for him to ever forget her. It seems so impossible but maybe all he needs to do is trying.

She's not his anyway. And for now, she will never be.

Mark falls in love with the wrong person. It's only good for him to let go of those feelings. He will leave soon anyway.

So he lets go of her. It's all his fault anyway.

**_-18_ **

Going back to South Korea has never been Mark's intention but when his job calls him to do things, he does it.

What Mark never expects is to find her, all the same, shoulder-length black hair with fringe, skin still pale, eyes are still brown.

It seems like Herin also didn't expect to meet him, but here they are, seated across each other under the dim yellow light of the downtown cafe.

"It's been long." Mark said and Herin definitely notices how much more accented his Korean is, probably because he lives in Canada for more than 5 years already.

"I know." Herin answered, "How are you?"

"Doing fine, I guess. Here for the job."

"I see..." "How are you?"

"Me? I'm good. Things change a bit for me. My brother is now in U.S with my mother and uh, I'll probably move there once I... uh, settled things down."

"Are you still with him?" Herin notices that Mark seems to be more curious about that than anything else but she won't blame him. It's been long, Mark probably expects things to change, which it did.

"No." Herin answered and concern seems to appear on his face. Concern and curiosity.

"We really ended it for good like 3 years ago."

"Oh." is all Mark could say. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, it's okay. What about you?"

"Nothing. Had a few girlfriends back when I'm still in university but none as of now. I guess I'm not interested anymore." Herin smiled a bit.

She didn't know why, she just felt... relieved to hear that.

"Why? Haven't moved on for me?" Herin thinks she shouldn't have said that. No matter if it's a joke or not. But those words seem to just slip from her tongue. Mark stiffened but the next second, he was smiling at her.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

It's not a maybe. Mark knew it probably is. Leaving South Korea all because his heartbreak didn't heal his emotion at all.

"Then I must haven't found anyone because of you."

Mark's heart skipped a beat. Herin could also feel her ears reddened after her own words.

"I should be flattered then." Mark muttered under his breath, flashing her a smile.

There it goes again. Herin could feel her face heating up, everything seems to stop and rush of nostalgia flowed inside her mind.

"I still love you." Mark confessed.

Herin was about to say a word yet he cut her off, "Do you want to try it?"

The answer was something she expected. She knows by heart but everything seems to die down when she wants to say it.

"I... Uh, if you don't want to, it's okay. I- I just want to see you again but uh... I understand." Mark said, bitter rushed over his body.

Herin was frozen but Mark already stood up from his seat.

He smiled at the person in front of him before he gave her a bow, "I guess I'm leaving first."

Then the boy disappeared out of her sight. Is this what I want? Herin thought. Should she have let go of him? Herin shouldn't have.

She shouldn't let go of Mark. Not now when it all changes already. Herin stood up abruptly, dashing outside almost instantly as she tries to searches for the guy frantically.

She caught his dyed blonde hair amongst the many heads and quickly runs after, "Mark!"

The guy stops in his track as he spun around and Herin went up to him with all her might.

"I... I like you." Herin blurted out and it felt so surreal how he took her hand and then wrapped her body in his arms.

It was dreamy. The rest of the day passed in a blink of an eye.

They spent the night together at Herin's house and Mark decides to spend just sleep there anyway. Herin didn't really remember how but both of them sleep on the couch next to each other.

Herin thinks everything is alright like this. Meeting Mark again is never on her plan but maybe this is what fate means. Maybe, after all, it's her destiny to meet him again.

And Mark now could see that he never falls for the wrong person. It's all about time. Before, Herin is not his and will never be. But now, she is.

And Mark thinks nothing is better than this.

To be with her again. To feel what love is yet again.

This is love. And both Herin and Mark thinks it's quite alright to feel it again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for even reaching the end of this story. I hope you'll like it and any kind of feedbacks are welcomed. Also, you can contact me on Twitter (@/baekchennie), anyway, I love Mark and I love every of you who read this<3


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